Boasting an
interdisciplinary approach, field trips and placements, Sheffield was easily the
best university for my Masters. I was delighted to be accepted and pursue my ambitions. The
decision to attend, however, catapulted me from my comfortable London life into
an unfamiliar city, institution and environment. The challenges this presented
were compounded by exceptional course demands on my rusty brain that had been
out of academia for four years.
On arrival to
Sheffield, I felt lost and overwhelmed. As time passed, I failed to find my
feet and confidence. How do I study? How do I prioritise? How do I befriend
people when we have such little contact? Why does it take four hours to read
each journal article? I asked myself. Though I did make friends, I didn’t
settle back into student life well. Postgraduate study is solitary and
self-structured and I yearned for the routine of a job, constant interaction
and home. Having thrived as an undergrad, I now found myself insecure about
work and tormented by my essays. Soon enough I couldn’t eat, sleep or write
properly. I felt defeated and devastated.
By Christmas
I was exhausted and ready to drop out. Nevertheless, despite wanting my health
and happiness, my loved ones knew I had invested too much to walk away without
regret. They somehow gave me the courage to persevere. I made the wise decision
of alerting the university to my state of mind, which saw me diagnosed with
anxiety and equipped with strategies to manage the triggers and symptoms.
Still, the rollercoaster year took its toll and by May, I had arranged to
complete the degree over another twelve months, easing the pressure and making
learning fun again. Owning my struggle was crucial to seeking the help I needed
to improve my wellbeing and stay on track.
On
reflection, negotiating the jump from undergraduate study was one of the most
difficult challenges. The increase in workload was accompanied by a
dramatic shift in the way I needed to think and perform. I went from memorising
and regurgitating to grappling with multiple perspectives, complex ideas and
contested concepts. Problematically, I wanted my lecturers to tell me, from the
outset, how to engage critically and became frustrated and annoyed when they
didn’t. Over the year, I came to see that others can’t tell you how to achieve
a sophisticated level of understanding. They can only challenge you to ask the
right questions, which the academics were doing all along. I got there,
eventually, but had I been more patient and mindful of the fact that learning
is a gradual process, I may have experienced less angst.
Mental health
problems are rife in education – a shocking 115,000 students in the UK declared
one in 2015. Worryingly, over half of students who report such issues do not
seek support. I know that without help, I would not have stayed the course.
There is no shame in mental illness and our university is strong on welfare,
offering excellent professional services. In pushing through my lowest points,
I’ve enjoyed field trips to Kenya and Switzerland, am about to undertake
exciting research with a well-established NGO and expect to achieve a distinction
overall. I’ve met amazing, like-minded people and am well positioned for a
career working to achieve social justice. Persistence, determination and
self-belief pay dividends.
Mitali Sen, MSc Environmental Change and International Development
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